A candle in the dark.

So last night at bible study was amazing, and afterwards and this morning, God has been showing me so many things.
My mind is honestly on overload right now. But, it's awesome! Like, God has shown me a ministry I could get into.
Children's ministry.
Cause honestly, I miss my campers so much! I loved being a jc at camp two years ago (Wow, that long??), not for the staff or the fun or the location, but because of the campers. For the whole summer, I was able to pour out my love into these kids, and I loved it! Yes, some of them I wanted to strangle and nobody could handle them, but God showed me that those were the ones who needed my love most. My heart broke for alot of them, hearing their life stories and knowing what kind of home they'd be going back to, but I loved them. I loved them so much. And I still do, wherever they may be!
(If you were my camper and reading this, know that I love you so much!! And miss you tons! And am praying for you, and that God will do amazing things in your life!)
Also, God showed me that I don't need a guy to love me. I just need to love others. And also, without a guy, I can focus more on these kids/teens/people/etc, and yeah, it's really cool, cause I feel so content and so happy now :) Besides, I have a loving God and Savior who loves me. What more do I need??
So yeah, that's my random sharing for the day :)
I just have such a passion for helping and loving those who need love. I felt stupid for crying at Bible study once, and almost again last night, just talking about the reserve kids (for example). The reserves are such a dark place, and getting to know some of the kids at camp and hearing their stories and stories of others.. It breaks my heart every time. But you know what, I don't care if I cry anymore, because it's true! I love those kids, and I don't care if people think I'm weird for crying! I don't even know most of those kids, but my heart just breaks for them. Why did God bless me so much to put me in a loving Christian family, in a safe place, with a Bible? When I could've been put in a torn apart, broken home, being abused and raped week after week, where 'love' is a word no one understands?? Why????? At times I wish I wasn't this blessed! But now I see, God can use me, so that I can love those kids/teens, and tell them that someone else loves them too, and even went through pain and suffering, and died for them, because He loved them so much! Like, who wouldn't want to hear that?? We who are so blessed, almost to the point of spoiled, forget how much Christ dying for us should really mean to us! For the child who is rejected and hurt day after day, that would mean the world to them, to know that someone loves them and cares about them, and... My mind is just blown, now that God has shown me salvation through their eyes, not that I've been in their shoes, but just thinking of it through their mindset. It's no wonder Christ went to the tax collectors and prostitutes. Yes, he came for everyone, but they were the ones most in need of love. A Saviour. Like, wow, my mind is just blown away! If only everyone looked at salvation like that. Only then would we truly appreciate what He did for us. Like, wow, God loves me so much that He sent His son to die for me, to pay for MY sins, and now I can be forgiven! I can be a child of God! Wow! Thank you God! Thank you so much! Now words can describe how thankful I am! I love you, God!

Man, even all this is bringing tears to my eyes.. We have such an awesome God! Amen?

So the overall of this blog is I want to be a shining light for God to these children, to show them the love of God and tell them of Him. I am so excited for my future now :)

Also, for some strange reason, I wanna move to the ghetto. "WHAT?? Kathy, are you ok?? You are the last person who should go to the ghetto! You're too naive, sensitive, and.. yeah. What on earth are you thinking??"
Honestly, I don't know what I'm thinking. I'm thinking the same thing. But I just feel God wants me to go somewhere like that, to be a candle in the dark. I'd rather be a light in the dark then an extra unneeded candle in a lighted room. Yes, we need people to encourage other Christians, but I have more of a passion to help the hurting, the lonely, the lost. That's more my passion.
Not gonna lie, I'm slightly scared. I suck at doing things alone, going in by myself where there's no other light, or no other bright lights, but ya know what, I got God with me. What and who should I fear?

So if you ever think of me, please pray for me in this matter, or if you have any encouragement or advice for me, lemme know!

God bless & keep it real!
:)